Disclaimer: This article is not about making Horcrux. Making a Horcrux is illegal.
Horcrux (noun) is a powerful dark object in which a person has preserved a fragment of his soul. So even if you die, a part of your soul lives on in that object.
A most powerful tool, if you can get it right and fatal if you get it wrong. Making one is not just about cooking the right ingredients in a cauldron, of equal importance are the objects you choose to hide your soul in. This here is a list of seven horcruxs one ought to make.
It is not your average run-of-the-mill itinerary. So if you have gone ahead and made Nokia 1100, Rajnikant and the 2000 crore statue India is building with Z++ security into a Horcrux, you might as well go ahead and destroy it, because these are first of the few things Harry would come after.
- The Double Quoted “Hindu Culture”
Even a small dent on “Hindu Culture” would bring out an army of right-wing sleuths armed with their hard bound copies of Vedas and Purans and polished trishuls and lathis to defend it.
- Nirupa Roy
She is the epitome of motherhood and motherly love. A poverty stricken ailing mother whose power to make temple bells come alive surpasses any other. Her army of misplaced kids, all named Ravi and Vijay are better than an army of Inferi. Like a phonex her tears have healing powers and can even bring back the dead. Her white sari can deflect any curse including the most powerful killing curse, “Avada Kedavara” thus making her one of the most powerful Horcruxs.
- Black Money
Safely stashed in tax havens abroad, it is impossible to trace the money or the accounts it is stashed in. Even if someone breaks into a bank, unlike gringotts, the money can be easily transferred electronically to any of the other bank branch spread out in more than 50 tax heavens. It is well protected by secrecy laws and liberal tax regimes. The Indian government has been trying to bring back the black money for more than 10 years now with no luck whatsoever.
The gold-plated britannium on a black metal base is given for excellence in cinematic achievements. A part of your soul can be hidden in it but it is crucial to present the same Oscar to Leonardo dicaprio. Leo will protect it with his own life before he lets anyone destroy it. Giving his own life to protect the thing he loves the most is old magic and it would give the Horcrux, the same protection Harry had when Lily cast herself between her son and the Dark Lord.
Who in his right frame of mind would make a snake, a horcrux. What was Dark Lord thinking?
I belong to Slytherin whose emblematic animal is a snake. I can speak Parseltongue and I carry a pet snake with me all the time. Keep guessing where the Horcrux is?
It is this kind of blatant stupidity that gets you killed. A dog on the other hand can be an effective Horcrux. They are cute, loyal and love you unconditionally. Nobody would want to kill a dog. Imagine the kind of disrepute and infamy it would bring. The backlash is not worth it.
- Manmohan Singh’s Silence
A silence that was not broken by years of UPA 1 and UPA 2, a silence that continued as the country was bled dry by Coal scam, 2G scam and CWG scam, cannot be broken by Basilisk’s fang or even by the razor sharp edge of gryffindor’s sword.
- Smriti Irani’s Yale Degree
Not even the ghost of the Helena Ravenclaw can tell you the whereabouts of this degree. The only reference ever made was by Ms. Smriti Irani herself. Its whereabouts are the best guarded secrets of the HRD Ministry. You cannot destroy that can never be found.